Stock Market Jokes | Investing Jokes

What’s the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock? In the first case, you help finance your local community swimming pool. In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters home pool.
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My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it’s his!
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A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
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I’m thinking of leaving my husband, complained the broker’s wife. “As in Bull Run he says I dont have time..and in a Bear market he says Mood Nahi hai…”
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Momentum Investing: The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower
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Q: Why did God create stock analysts ?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
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Bull Market is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
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Bear Market is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
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How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two all up. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER JOKES. PLEASE COMMENT THEM BELOW


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